I always clap when the plane lands.
I don't like to clap at the end of a yoga class, though. I know people do it to support the teacher, and it's awesome when people clap and give it up for you. I'm all about showing some love. But in those moments, I'm just trying to relax. You don't need a clap from me. I don't clap. I show up 🧘🏽♂️
But when the plane lands back home? Oh boy, I'm fucking clapping. I'm clapping it up like my firstborn child just won a Nobel Prize. Like the Nutty Professor's mama screaming HERCULES! 👏🏽 HERCULES! 👏🏽 HERCULES! 👏🏽
There's nothing like walking out of the terminal as those automatic doors slide open, and you get smacked across the face with that suffocating heat. That fresh, salty air fills your lungs, reminding you what it's like to struggle to be alive. When your body starts to perspire immediately, like it's been running a marathon and forgot to sweat, and it's like, oh shit, let me make up for all that non-sweating by sweating it all out RIGHT NOW LOL SORRY NOT SORRY HOPE YOU BROUGHT ANOTHER SHIRT IN YOUR BACKPACK 😅
This is just one of the few things that remind me I'm home.
There are other things, too. Like when you're flying in, and you see all those blue roofs. You know, the blue tarps that serve as roofs for the houses that still haven't been fixed since hurricane Maria.
Wait, no, let's not think about those things. Only happy thoughts! We're on vacation! If I'm having a good time, then nobody is suffering!
NOTHING CAN GO WRONG
Oh, shit. That happened. But it didn't happen until the third day I was home. So, technically, we can still talk about the good stuff! I don't want to be a party pooper here, and I don't want to ruin your 2uesday on a Monday.
David, stop this. It couldn't have been that bad. Didn't you go to some local comedy show?
That's right! I went to this dope new bar to see a friend host an open mic. I was hanging out with some other close friends having a great time. And they were telling me, "David, Puerto Rico is amazing, obviously. There's nothing like living here. But this shit is crazy man. It's tough. Like, it's not easy to live here. The lights go out all the time. And there's always something that––
Then it happened. The light bulbs flickered, got brighter, and slowly started to dim. Until it was pitch black, Shakespeare couldn't have written a better moment.
But everybody remained calm. The show must go on! The comics performed in the dark, and the bar is usually so cold we stayed nice and cool for the next few hours as we laughed (sometimes) and kept buying drinks. Yeah, there was no electricity. But life was still good, right?
It's okay. We kept partying. We went to someone's house who had a generator. I mean, everyone should have a generator, right? That's like, an everyday thing?
Actually, maybe not. Now that I think of it, those are expensive. And you need to maybe own your property to put one there. And it needs maintenance. And you need to have money to buy diesel to power it. And you better hope you don't run out of diesel.
this is fine
EVERYTHING IS FINE
The next morning I woke up and went to make myself breakfast. I was fine. There was a generator in the building where I was staying. Shit, we even had internet. I was catching up on some Atlanta. I looked at the microwave to see what time it was, and it said 4:42. No way! I just woke up. How could it, ooooooh, they haven't set their clocks. That's so weird. How can someone live like that? I always have my microwave and stove clock set 10 minutes ahead, so I'm always on time. I'm a Boy Scout like that 🤓
Still weird that people wouldn't set their clocks, right?
Shit, that's right. What’s the point of setting it if the lights go out all the time and you have to keep resetting it? But it's okay. I'm on vacation!
Things can't be that bad. Shit's fine. I mean, it's 2022. We have an incredible private company that definitely always cares about what's best for its customers. That's what all this economics stuff is about, right? Businesses will do what's best for the customer no matter what?

And if anything results from their negligence, they'll make it up to everyone. This is fiiiine. How bad can it really be for people?
Don't get down. That's probably just an isolated case.
Umm, what does losing power really mean? You don't have internet or a/c. Whatever, not that bad.
But, like, people are listening, right? The powers that be are helping those hurting? It's probably only those damn Millennials and Gen Z complaining.
Wait, there are protests? Who's protesting?!?!?!
This can't be real. We'll get the light back soon enough. They wouldn't encourage people to keep coming to the island to vacation if shit was this bad. Uncle Sam cares about us, right?
The governor must be doing something. He's on the island, right?
He's in Spain?!?!? Sucking up to the fuckers over there???
At least that excellent private company everybody wanted is helping us. They wouldn't tell people to suck it up and leave old folks to die. No way a business would do that. They'd never put profits over people.

David, why are you telling me these things? Things are okay for me! I don't want to think of a world where things are bad right next to me. I worked so hard. Maybe people should work harder if they don't want to be affected!
Told ya. Just people whining.
Fine, they probably fixed it quickly, though. It can't go on for days.
KEEP CALM PEOPLE
Hey, just to make sure. You've been looking at the dates on all the tweets I've posted. Right?????
I don't know, David. Sounds like Socialist propaganda. The United States of America would never treat one of their colonies like this. I refuse to believe it. People need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps and stop blaming the ones coming here and actually spending money.
Whatever, you're overreacting.
I don't know about you, but I think
Anyway, I had an incredible vacation. I love you. Don't let emails like this distract you from true enemies like anti-racism and teaching kids history.
PS
El que sabe sabe, lee esto cantando 😇
PPS
Hurricane season starts June 1st 🙂