Thank you all for joining me here today. The following statement is true for me, and I hope it is for you (2)
Let's get this over quickly. Two nights ago a famous man slapped another famous man on live tv and people were all like
When Black & Brown people are being murdered itβs like all chillz NBD just the way of the world but all of a sudden someone who turns red under the sun is in trouble and
Oh, fuck, this is supposed to be the COMEDY one. My bad. I just wanted to mention that I know you're not being intentionally racist, but a lot of the shit you say soundsβ¦
Anywayβ¦.my girl asked me what made me feel the most pleasure and I was all like
But we were already covered in vegan honey and you know how I be getting intimate when Limp Bizkit is playing so I started singing along and right now youβre all like
Don't worry, baby, I get that a lot. But there's actually no such thing as vegan honey. Bet you thought you were about to catch me slippinβ like
But I'm not, it's just that
And I'm not really sure what that means but when I know that she liked my tweet and where I'm from when someone else engages with your content
Congratulations, you're all officially in love with me. It's okay though because
Jk jk jk ββ just know that I ain't going on any dates lately because I'm
And that's okay. But sometimes you try to express your feelings and
You go and do some crazy shit and just act out trying to cancel historical figures like
See, there's a joke behind that and you're missing the context. But even with that explanation me saying it right now is likeβ¦
No worries, though, you'll forget about it soon enough as things get better with time. And if anyone knows about that it's me because I'm a wine expert. Shoutout Paul Giamatti and Woody Allen films
Not really sure where I'm going with this, but with 222 subscribers no man should have this much power and sometimes I think to myself
When you sit back and see what the most famous people of our times have to say
FUCK YEAH! Damn, ye, I'm glad we're finally seeing eye to eye. It's been a while and for a second I thought thaββ
Okay, maybe we'll circle back and pick each other's brains on this laterβ¦
Back to the subject. I don't want to see you with your nasty ass toes out any time that isn't right before or after you've been spending various hours in a body of water. Get your shit together, for the kids
This is 95% of usΒ in the morning before turning on the camera for that first video meeting of the day
I love to mention that I was in a fraternity but then I remember this is what probably pops up in peopleβs brains when I say that
And I'd say that's a lie because not all guys are that shad of pink, but
And we both might be thinking
But I didn't know where I was going when I started and it's really about the journey anyway. So when you close this (after telling one of your friends to read it even though youβre hesitant because you're worried about what they're going to think about the screenshot of all the pledges with their dicks pinkβd out but it's okay blame it on me say something about being an eccentric artist that'll be really famous one day and youβll always remember years from now when you had that interaction and you told them after I told you that and yeah that picture was pretty random but letβs just say Iβm misunderstood and
PS
Shoutout to every movie and show that had a hand in creating this:
Southside (HBOMAX)
Atlanta (Hulu - FX)
Abbott Elementary (Hulu)
The Book of Bobba Fett (Disney+)
Superstore (Hulu)
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Netflix)
Transformers: The Last Knight (Paramount+)
jeen-yuhs (Netflix)
Fast 6 (HBOMAX)
Peacemaker (HBOMAX)
Euphoria (HBOMAX)
Black AF (Netflix)
Desus & Mero (Showtime)
And the only time youβll ever be able to feel exactly like Justin Bieber