046: iRemember ❤️🩹
sometimes my memory gang aft-a-gley
[line 1]
I need a #GoodRead for my 2uesday
, she said
Right before I started writing this
I remember when nobody was reading because nothing was being written
And now she's reading this
I remember what it's like to remember things you remember before you start to forget
And I remember forgetting things you thought you'd always remember
The type of things you can never get back
(sorry about that--aunque no es mi culpa)
I'll never forget when I got in the car, and he said, "Check out this new rapper, his name is (nobody iller than) Mac Miller (and company)"
I remember his life through my life and what it meant to me
But my life through your eyes isn't what life means, to Me
I remember early mornings and late afternoons in school
Back in 2005 before 10-year-olds rocked fades with weekly shape-ups and we wore uniforms so your shoes were like 90% of determining if you were cool
(it's 95% now, idk what to tell you lmao rofl lol)
Y me acuerdo que mis panas de soccer no hablaban ingles y veían los shows en español so mala mía loco pero no te puedo contar los chistes de south park con el acento dominicano (that shit was hilarious though,but probably for different reasons)
I remember sitting next to each other in class every day and talking like we hadn't seen each other in years
I remember falling asleep on your shoulder watching Futurama and waking up at 3am to the DVD menu playing and then starting all the episodes again even though we knew we were going to fall back asleep right after pressing play
I remember the last time I texted her & she didn't answer
I remember the first time I called him & he didn't answer
I remember what us was to me and I thought I meant that to both of you but I guess not because if it meant what it meant to me then And when I finally came to terms with the fact that all I was going to have left was what I remembered and it would only be like that for me it hurt like I never knew it could because
I don't remember going through that before so it was the first time I had something like that to remember something so I'm
prepared for the next time it happens
(probably not though)
Well,
If it's like that
and you can't remember something
unless your first had that something (happen)
Then are the things we remember
ours and ours alone?
Like,
do we own them? (sort of
I remember when I first came up with the idea for this email and all the things I thought of that I told myself I would write down and have you remember. But the thing is,
these [emails][blog posts] never go like that--
If I remember properly, nothing usually goes the way you think it's going to
…of mice and men
I have an idea, and maybe I write that down but usually, I just remember the idea and a few inspirations and I sit on it for the entire week until the moment comes to write. And if I haven't written anything down then I tell myself I remember what I promised myself I would remember. Even though it never works like that, I usually end up forgetting (but not on purpose). And I remember some things, but it's not the same to remember those things without the rest of the things that I had originally first created (thought of) so I could then remember. I remember the first idea and I just start writing and like 24,5349 words later whatever I remember became something completely different and then all of a sudden I'm getting texts like:
What's your problem with Taylor Swift????
{OR}
Yo…fuck Taylor Swift. You're speaking the truth brother!
{OR}
You're going to regret talking tough on your little internet blog emails when you're getting your ass beat by a non-binary-couple cosplaying as Mickey and Minnie Mouse waiting in the FastPass line for Space Mountain next to a family of 8 from Des Moines
(deh-moyyyyn 🌽)
|PS did you know Kansas City is one city divided by the border of Kansas and Missouri? My first thought was that it must be real fucking tedious for drug dealers to make sure they don't add "trafficking across state lines" to their charges--now that's a felony, brother|
No, of course I'm never going to move to f-cking Fort Lauderdale dude (or Kansas City)
I remember what all this writing (ranting?) was originally about before I derailed us
Waiting for the inevitable texts like "bRo WhAt'S wrONg WitH FoRt LauDeRDalE, I LoVe iT hErE!!¡!¡¡" from someone who lives in Pompano
So if what we remember is what we see and how we interpret it, and what we interpret is based on our individual lived experiences, but nobody else has lived exactly what we've lived, so no one could possibly ever interpret things the way we interpret them, does that mean everything we remember is different for everybody? So nobody ever truly remembers the same thing. Which means every story and re-telling and account of something that happened is simply someone's interpretation of it and not exactly what happened. And the only definitive way to know exactly what happened is to have video footage from at least 7-28 different vantage points with clear audio. If everyone has a slightly different story and no one can truly remember what happened then the purest form of experience is having to be there and if not then nothing compares (big win for the no phones living in the moment crowd).
I call this next piece: maybe like a couple of phones but mostly everyone else living in some type of moment
Which leads us to the inevitable question: Is anything ever re-told or remembered actually presented as it really happened? (image unrelated(((
Basically, is everything we remember wrong?
I remember Fez kicked Nate's ass. I can tell you that for sure
*high-fives random dude waiting in line next to me at Orange Julius*
I remember I told you the first time it was an email and then you came up to tell me you liked it and you were like,, great blog post! But it's supposed to be a newsletter. Whatever you say, dayvid not dayvid
It's not a poem,
But if we're going to
be like that
It's more of a diary journal
Because I'm really saying things I've always thought and remembered without really saying them and it's a lot of "I've never told anyone this before," so much so that I have to stop saying, "I've never told anyone this before," because after 999 of these there won't be much left to say. But I hope you come back every week even though you don't remember why you started coming here in the first place which doesn't really matter because who you were when you started this isn't who you are now just like I'm not who I was when 003 but we're all here-now -together and whatever your expectations might be (hope you have none) I hope you expect to come here every week because you remember that something I did or something I said maybe distracted you for a second or made you think about something you hadn't before and it was worth it to give me a few minutes of your time because in the end that's all we really have even if we don't remember what we did for most of it so live in the moment because you think you’re going to remember but if we’ve learned anything here today is that that isn’t as reliable as make it out to be.
no matter how hard we try or want it to be 😕
[END PAGE]
PS
of course’’ i remember—-
