043: A list of people I don't trust 🧐

these people are sus

1. Taylor Swift🧣

2. Anyone who shares a picture of their laptop on a sunny ass day by the pool or at the beach with the caption "Today's Office." First off, you can't see shit on your laptop with the glare of the sun, and even when you sometimes maybe possibly can, it's so hot and sweaty that you can't even type for 20 seconds without wiping down the keyboard because it's drenched in sweat. And that's if your computer doesn't shut down because it overheated. Don't believe them ☀️

3. People who don't laugh at my jokes. I'm hilarious. What you mean you didn't find that bit about people who claim to work by the pool funny? You know how many times I've jaja'd (or haha'd) my way into some you know what never mind ✋🏽

4. I'm suspicious of Disney adults 🤨

5. People who ask if you have a quick moment to talk about a business opportunity that will help you make some passive income 📉

6. People who constantly share intimate details about their lives on social media and then post a story with their "Shares" and "Saves" numbers asking, "Why do people do this? Why are you so interested in my life?"

7. People who have several really bad tattoos. I have tattoos. I know how much that shit hurts. I know how much you look at your own tattoos. Maybe the first one is okay because you're like shit, we've already started it's embarrassing to stop now there's no going back. But after that, you should know better. 

8. People who don't like Bad Bunny 😈🐰

9. People who prefer Pepsi over Coca-Cola

10. People who think they're cool because they never watched Game of Thrones. You deserve to be hurt like the rest of us 😔

11. George R.R. Martin. He's never finishing Winds of Winter. 

12. Kanye's cousin who stole the laptop he was fucking b*tches on

13. Kanye West 😬

14. Jared Leto 

15. Anyone under 40 who buys Michelob Ultra

16. People who don't scrub and wash their legs when they shower 🤢

17. People who consume porn but don't respect sex workers

18. The Mayor of Miami

19. The Governor of Florida 

20. This idiot

Elon Musk @elonmusk

Defeating traffic is the ultimate boss battle. Even the most powerful humans in the world cannot defeat traffic.

Did I miss anyone I shouldn’t trust? Let me know.

PS

This guy makes a great point: