015: 5 thoughts after 1 beer

and a glass of wine too (also) (it was white)

ONE: The perfect amount of drunk lasts around 10-18 minutes

I have no evidence, but it's scientifically proven. As someone who has been drunk before (on numerous occasions), You know this to be true. The perfect amount of drunk is a balance between not giving a fuck and knowing exactly what fucks to give. You know what I mean. It's when you've had maybe 2 or 3 drinks (beers, cocktails), or maybe 2 drinks and one shot, or 1 shot and two drinks. When you're feeling happy and confident enough that you know your jokes are landing, you look good, you feel better, the right words continue to roll off your tongue and you don't even have to think twice before dishing out the wittiest thing you've said in your life. It's like the world is your oyster. Any person you're attracted to is viable because you are your best self right now. It's times like these when you have to shoot your shot, try some karaoke, or maybe take that one selfie you've been thinking about but haven't done it because you're scared someone is going to walk in the bathroom and catch you doing it and you'll be embarrassed. But the perfect amount of drunk lets you look on point in that selfie even with someone in the background staring at the mirror like, "Great, another bathroom selfie," and you're going to post it with them in it because yeah, you're fucking killing it. Just be aware. This phase always lasts less than 20 minutes (30 max if you're lucky). Because after that perfect amount of drinks, you'll either keep drinking and get sloppy or try to slow it down and lose that liquid confidence you worked so hard to reach. Do with this advice what you must. Just do it responsibly.

TWO: Don't ask me to have some drinks and get creative

This is one of my pet peeves. When people tell me: let's have some beers and get creative. You can't force that shit. Also, don't tell me you need something creative and start throwing ideas out there thinking I'm writing everything you're saying. All you're doing is distracting me from trying to think about the ideas you want. If my brain is a one-lane highway and I'm focused on handling the steering wheel with my knees while typing this email, you throwing rocks from the side of the highway at my passenger-side window is not helping. Also, that working all night shit don't work for me. You need to find what works for you. At a certain time of the night, my noggin ain't working. It's best we go to sleep and try again in the morning. But get a good amount of sleep, not 4 hours. We ain't 21 anymore.

THREE: I'm the most creative when I'm distracted

I came up with like 15 lesson ideas for this while in the shower (and the perfect amount of drunk), and then I stepped out and forgot most of them. I came up with the idea for the Tuesdayverse and dropping an email every Tuesday on a 4-hour drive from Miami to Orlando as I was listening to a podcast I didn't end up listening to at all.

What I'm trying to say is that the best things in life happen when you're not really trying to make that happen. My best ideas pop up out of nowhere in the middle of a drive listening to music, 30 minutes into a yoga session when I'm sweating my life away and wondering how I'm going to finish the class, or at the bar after a couple of beers and I start thinking about random shit because the conversation around me was boring or I started daydreaming. The point is I wasn't trying to force it. And that's not just for your ideas, but the best things in life.

If you want to accomplish incredible things, work indirectly towards them. Do the work that will allow you to be the best at that craft and continue to take in as much content and inspiration from the world around you. I'm trying to write a story on xxxxx subject. Staring at a blank page on my computer screen with no ideas is not the best use of my time. I consume everything I can about that topic and its history and slowly start building ideas and putting them on paper. Use this strategy with most things.

If you want to make gains working out, don't go hard lifting the heaviest weights. Find the optimal time of the day for you to exercise and make it a point always to be available. You're putting yourself in the best position to succeed, and eventually, you'll reach everything you're working towards.

FOUR: Sober you is the best you

Don't have to say much about this. It's the truth. If you don't think it is, you need to figure out what it means to love yourself. I know it's hard (and scary), but the most rewarding work always is.

FIVE: You look like an idiot when you run to cross the street

You know when you're crossing the street, and a car is coming, and you're like, oh shit do I stop do I keep going? And then you decide to keep going, and you do that little jog, so the car realizes you're not trying to fuck them over and we're all being nice humans to each other, and then you make it to the other side of the street, and you ask yourself: Did I just look like an idiot running across the street?

You totally did.

There's no instance of doing that run where you don't look stupid.

But you need to make it across the street one way or another. And fuck what the person in the car thinks. So go for it. Do the run, or walk, or light jog, or pretend to run, so the person in the car knows you're aware of their impending arrival and are trying to respect them as well. Whichever you prefer, just know you can't control how others perceive you, but you can control how you feel about yourself.

SIX: Fuck it, wear it

I recently bought a crop top hoodie. I loved the writing on it so much and the color that I was like fuck it, I need to make this decision. Then I sent pictures to 6 people who are some of my closest friends, and I trust their fashion opinions. It was an even split of people who were said, "OMG YESS DO ITT!!!" And the others who were like, "MMMM MAYBE YOU SHOULD RETHINK THIS DECISION."

Thank you all for your feedback, and fuck y'all who didn't think I could pull it off (with all due respect and luv).

Sometimes people are going to think you can pull it off. Sometimes they won't. Ultimately, the decision is up to you. You might look great, you might look terrible. People might love it. People might hate it. But you'll never know unless you go for it.

So,

fuck it,

wear it.

PS

This doesn't apply to everything you want to wear like there are terrible fashion decisions. Please don't think you can pull of Derelicte by Mugatu because not just anyone can do what Hansel does.

I hope you make some risqué fashion decisions this weekend. Because if not, are you really living?

See you next 2uesday, don't worry about what celebrities wear to the Met Gala. Worry about Nicki Minaj's cousin cheating on his fiancé and his swollen testicles.