2️⃣008: can't wash your hands in 5 secs 🧼
vísteme despacio que tengo prisa
Did you see the 2uesday forecast?
Here it is in case you didn't:
It made me think of something
Fuck DaBaby's publicist (also DaBaby, obvio)
Yes, they probably have a difficult ass job right now. But let's not forget their job is to figure out how to downplay homophobic and dangerous rhetoric by their client. Maybe you decided you're unfollowing DaBaby on social media and not listening to his music anymore. But this individual has to actively defend their client's statements (or at least figure out how to spin them in a positive manner).
It's what they get paid to do.
i get it
I know many people out there have had to do shit they don't want to do or don't believe in because of their job.
I just think that having to choose between what we know deep down inside is truly wrong or being able to have a roof over our heads and food on our plates is a really shitty compromise.
Also, there are a ton of people who don't give a fuck (who probably agree with DaBaby) who would be happy to be his publicist.
I guess that's why people end up feeling helpless and giving up at times. No matter how hard you fight against the people causing harm in this world, there will always be another person to take their place. Of course, no one is entirely good, just like no one is entirely bad (#LokiGang)
There just seems to be an overwhelming amount of shitty people making sure the wheel keeps spinning (shoutout Khaleesi but before she went crazy and killed all those innocent people, I'm thinking more like freeing the unsullied and burning the Khals Khaleesi).
On that note, Olivia Pope is no white knight. Putting aside all the good things she did...
SHE LITERALLY RIGGED A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. WE KNOW EXACTLY HOW SHE DID IT. THIS IS NOT A CONSPIRACY. THEY TOLD US EXACTLY HOW THEY DID IT. FITZGERALD THOMAS GRANT III IS AN ILLEGITIMATE HEAD OF STATE.
Gotta give it to Shonda Rhimes, who had us consistently rooting for the person who did exactly what we're afraid of people doing in real life.
Backonbaby(onbaby)…
If you liked DaBaby's apology post on IG, I'm judging you.
Like, wtf?
Why would you like it?
Because he said he was sorry?
Do you think he actually means it?
Is your thought process like:
"I know he got on stage in front of thousands of people and said that ridiculous shit and then didn't back down and then doubled down and made it worse. And then he made a music video in 8k quality, doubling down on his stance AGAIN. But once he got canceled from Lollapalooza, that's when he realized he was wrong, and there was a real growth. I applaud him for that."
GTFO
At this point, the apology isn't about growth or learning right from wrong.
It's about…
I support people learning and growing and changing. And we need to give them the opportunity for that. I've gone through it myself and will (hopefully) keep going through it until the day I die.
But one thing is saying: as teenagers in high school, we used to make fun of things we didn't like by calling them "gay," and I can see how fucked up that is and why we shouldn't be doing it
And a whole other thing is...
ANYWAY, this email was supposed to be about washing your hands until all this fuckery happened.
So, a final word from a man who has always been ahead of his time
cleaning your hands though…
You can't wash your hands in less than 10 seconds (full stop)
Remember when the CDC recommended everyone wash their hands for at least 20 seconds and the big conversation became,
"But why do I need to spend so much time if I can do the same thing in like 5 seconds? I'm like, super-duper sure I cover every area of my hands. I know myself. The CDC doesn't know how I wash my hands. I've been washing my hands my whole life!"
Yeah and you've been doing it wrong your whole life (this is specifically about washing hands, but that statement can apply to so many things we do it's scary)
Dammit, why are we all such assholes who think we know better than literal experts 😭😭😭
This is what we sound like when we say that…
I already knew this. I don't think I'm smarter than doctors who spent years studying this shit. But, I am one of the assholes who were like, "Naaaa I can totally wash my hands in 5-8 seconds!"
And then the other day, I spent significantly longer just rubbing the soap in and
As I hit the 10-second mark of rubbing soap, I literally felt dirtiness floating away from my hands like the people who turned to ash when Thanos snapped his finger
That bacteria and dirt and grime were like
And by the time I got to 20 seconds rubbing….OH BABY
I felt like I could perform open-heart surgery with my bare hands because my phalanges were so fucking pristine.
It's the same as cleaning your room. You think you can clean quickly, but if you're in a hurry, you're going to do a shit job.
You think you got everything because it looks nice on the surface, but underneath you missed a bunch of spots. This isn't just about cleaning (your hands or your room).
It's everything you do in life.
We want to do things too fast because we think we can get the same results in half the time.
But that's not true…
Hack this
Hack that
Lean build
Accomplish what it takes people entire lifetimes to do in just 10 days
I know these celebrities spend thousands of dollars on trainers and regiments and food and months not even working just training to get the perfect body…but here's how you can do it in just 10 days while still working 80 hours a week!
Are you fucking serious?
If it was so easy to accomplish those difficult things in such a short time, why doesn't everyone do it?
"Because they're lazy, and they don't want to take the time to stop watching Netflix!"
No, asshole, because that shit ain't real
And if you can build it with those hacks, you're building it on a weak foundation
Sooner or later, the chickens will come home to roost…
Just ask Kevin Spacey what "House of Cards" means
Vísteme lento que tengo prisa
This is one of my favorite phrases ever, passed down by my mom and grandma.
Apparently coming from Napoleon (and several other historical figures).
Anything you do,
a relationship,
a friendship,
your job,
your passions,
cooking,
CLEANING,
anything absolutely at all..just fucking do it right
And that means take your time to do it properly.
Because that way you'll only have to do it once
When you rush things, you might not notice at first, but those things you skipped over are going to show up again
When it comes to the idea of rushing things in today's world, I think that's never more relevant than in your career or "accomplishments"
The speed with which things move because of social media and the internet has made us believe if we're not wildly successful within moments of starting something, then we've failed
I'm here to tell you that's not true.
Even the people who you think blew up overnight or came out of nowhere have probably been doing that shit for a while.
And then they say it happened for me overnight, shit, yeah, I guess
I guess it took ten years for me to be an overnight success
-Big Sean (Blessings)
Take Logan and Jake Paul
(throws up in my mouth a little)
Listen, I don't like them (at all), but they've put in A LOT of work. They didn't just become millionaires overnight
*big sean lyrics repeats in your head in squeaky big sean voice*
And, yeah, you might think that being a YouTube Vlogger is stupid (because their videos are dumb and clickbait-y and made for teens and pre-teens), but that doesn't mean it doesn't take a lot of work to be successful at it.
If you think it's so easy, here's a challenge:
Make one 10 minute video -- about anything
Take an idea, even if it's stupid, like "I walk to the grocery store and slip and drop my groceries and have to repurchase them all." And try to execute that over 10 minutes of coherent video that people would sit down and watch.
You're not even going to try it because just thinking about how much work that would be is overwhelming
Ok, now do that but make the video 15-20 minutes and do it every single day for years while keeping MILLIONS of kids entertained.
Did it get any easier?
That's what these 2 guys have been doing for the past 7 years while you were sitting around talking about how fast you can wash your hands
--meanwhile, you can't even wipe your ass properly and half the people you know don't even wash their legs ~ they believe trickle-down soap theory is a thing, but that ain't true, not in hygiene nor economics--
Just because you disagree with what someone does and you think it provides no value doesn't mean it was easy to do.
These days fame is disconnected from excellence
Logan and Jake Paul might not be people we consider looking up to for any reason at all except they have material wealth, but dammit if I can't say they're really fucking good at leveraging their brand to make money and do what they do.
This might feel like a hot take, but I don't think it is: I think both the Paul brothers have put in more daily hours of work than Jeff Bezos. And they exploited hundreds of thousands of fewer works than Bezos did (maybe like a couple dozen tops, and all those people went on to have their own separate YouTube careers anyway).
Why does every regular person think they can do anything?
Like, you can.
But also, you can't.
I can't play in the NFL.
I love watching football and seeing people complain about a WR dropping a pass.
Could you have run at that speed for that amount of time and then jumped to that height to even make the catch slightly possible? While being defendeded by another world-class athlete whose only job is to literally stop you from doing your job?
Instead of screaming, "I could've caught that!"
I like to scream, "I could've dropped that!"
See what I did there?
Just acknowledging I'm not up to par with these athletes, and I could easily make the same mistakes and suck.
Now, when they do something amazing? Yeah, I couldn't do that. And don't get it wrong, I'm a great athlete (even though I was constantly injured, oh yeah, jumped ahead on your train of thought there, didn't I, Joseph and Casey?).
And even though I was (am!) a great athlete better than 98% of you reading this (whew, I've never talked this much shit before, but let me tell you, it feels Phenomenal)
I STILL COULDN'T DO 5% OF WHAT THEY DO
A D3 basketball player will SMOKE YOU
I'm just rambling at this point, and this shit is too long (as always)
So, if you don't take anything at all from this, just remember:
Here’s some extra content related to today's topic that I found funny.
Nos vemos el martes que viene 🪃