2️⃣006: burdened with glorious 🅿️-
particular proclivity phor prose
Positivity
keep it uP
Patriarchy
bring it down
Promotions
I hoPe there's one in your future.
if not,
Ask for it, (this helPs a lot)
If not,
find a new job on the DL,
then quit and show them what they're missing
Papoose
Without this man, this idea Probably would've never been born (that's a lie, this is a Loki-inspired Post. I just wrote too much and forgot about Loki).
ResPonsible for the original Alphabetical Slaughter
Name so nice you gotta say it twice (Papoose, Pah-POOSE!)
There's too much music to share, and most of it ain't on sPotify or apple. So here's the very first mixtape of his that got me hooked. I hope you can enjoy it as much as I did (and still do).
Now let's get a little more serious with-
Protests (& Picket Signs)
Westboro Baptish Church (WBC). Ever heard of em?
You Probably have. They're a hate group based out of ToPeka, Kansas.
Lead by fred phelps (lowercase P for you, Punk)
They're known for spewing hate speech against (mainly) gay PeoPle, Jews, Muslims, Atheists, many Christian denominations, even USA (Pretty much everyone that isn't them)
They find a random tragedy, throw a dart at someone to blame, then go outside and hold up signs like
"God hates (f-slur)"
"God sent the shooter"
"America is doomed"
"Thank god for dead soldiers"
"Thank god for 9/11"
get the Picture?
And they do this regularly.
Of course, there are incredible People out there who go out and counter-Protest. Holding uP signs against the vitriol that WPC members are trying to sPread.
This shit has been going on for decades, and it still does today.
Has there been any legal action against this to Protect grieving families? YuP, a few states, and even two presidents (no capital P for war criminals) have signed bills to helP Protect cemeteries and funerals.
But this has mainly been a resPonse to the WBC showing up to cheer the death of American soldiers.
Good 'ol Murica -- you're Protected if you want to say anything hateful about minorities, religions, sexual orientation, and any gender imaginable, but the moment you start talking smack about the military, that's when you've gone too far.
Why am I talking about this?
Because you know this group exists, you know how they feel, and you know what they do and are allowed to go out and say when they protest. But because they're not making anyone late for work, most people take a "yeah, whatever, just let them do their thing" attitude towards it.
Because, what are we really going to do?
Which leads me to this tweet that I haven't been able to stop thinking about:
And this response to the tweet
For the record, the Westboro Baptist Church wasn't Present for the january 6 uPrisings at the caPitol (that I know of).
But that's fine, no one's really been arrested for that either (maybe like 5 people and only one has been actually sentenced and it just happened?)(his name starts with a P, I can't even make shit up as good as real life at this Point).
Don't worry, though! The police do arrest Plenty of dangerous People at Protests!
Like this elderly black woman
(ACTUALLY, THAT'S 71-YEAR-OLD MEMBER OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES JOYCE BEATTY, WHO IS ALSO THE CHAIR OF THE CONGRESSIONAL BLACK CAUCUS. PLEASE COME CORRECT SHE'S ACTUALLY FIGHTING FOR YOUR RIGHTS)
[that was me talking to me, for the record]
Look at all the ruckus they were causing (according to the news rePort)
this sounds extra dangerous
good thing we got those old folks with zip ties
I was curious as to what they would legally define as "incommode," so I went and looked up the definition and….
There it is again, fucking traffic. By now, you should know cars have more rights than Pedestrians. But this isn't about either of them.
It's about Protests.
Protests are SUPPOSED to inconvenience PeoPle. They are suPPosed to uPset the status quo. They are suPPosed to make you late for work so you can wake uP from ignoring the Plights many people are suffering.
And just because their lives might be better now than they were at some other point, or they're better than PeoPle living in some other country, that doesn't take away from the fact that they are still suffering.
But, be wary,
Of Performative Politicians and Police officers who go against the very laws they have created when suPPorting Protests will Provide them with Political Points and great content for camPaign Propaganda
Because if anything was to actually change as a result of these, then the Powers that be would be wary as well.
And right now, they seem Pretty Peacefully content to me.
This means We the People will continue to live in Pain
(and as you know, there are Plenty of People suffering right now 😣)
Performative Posting
Protesting isn't only out on the streets. Now it's on the line as well. This is a much easier way to try and make your voice heard. Just remember, it's also an easy way to get things very (very) wrong.
PFIZERGANG
I was gonna write a whole shPeel about there's good reason not to trust many government plans (in general). And then go into the Tuskegee Syphilis Study where the government infected Black men with syphilis to see how it would behave untreated. And even when they discovered Penicillin they still didn't treat them. And they said the study would last 6 months and it lasted 40 years.
And that as that was ending, they began using Puerto Rican women as guinea pigs for birth control pills without their knowledge. And that they were literally sterilizing Puerto Rican women to control the population for what they believed would be the best economic future of the island.
And that sterilization didn't just happen to Puerto Rican women but also Native American women, Mexican women, and Black women.
And that the people responsible never suffered any real consequences for any of these horrific experiments on minority populations (sure, they made new laws and shit after, but that was about it).
But I think those last few Paragraphs paint the Perfect Picture
What I really wanted to say is: you can trust that the government and pharma companies aren't doing anything intentionally malicious with these vaccines because…
They'd never risk that many white people (unless it's for the good 'ol war machine).
Another thing to remember, all those news Pundits and “elites” and government officials telling you not to get the vaccine or trying to scare you about what may be in it….yeah, all those PeoPle are vaccinated.
Just food for thought.
Enough seriousness, let's have a little more fun talking about
P.DIDDY
actually, I mean Puffy, or diddy, P poppa, poppa diddy PoP, whatever he's calling himself these days. (Mister, daddy?)
I love this song so much. I want you to get the feeling I get every time I hear it. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
(listen, I tried to have the apple music share link here but it didn’t work for some reason. blame apple)
Playlists
Speaking of music. I love making these for You. It's like sharing a little Piece of me every single time.
This one is for all the People who think new school raP sucks, or it's only mumble rap. Or things aren't as good as they were in the 90s.
Listen, shut the fuck up. You don't know shit. You ain't up on the culture. You get your news on Instagram from Complex and Worldstar, and a handful of other lame-ass individuals who only focus on the toP names that make money and who they know will get a reaction out of you.
You sound like your parents when they were criticizing the very music you're defending.
Hip-Hop is alive and well.
It's the most Popular, most dominant, most ridiculously influential form of artistic expression on the Planet. It crosses borders, boundaries, languages, cultures and everything else that exists. It is the Past, Present and Pfuture.
It dictates how you talk, the clothes you wear, what people discuss in tv and movies, and the very slang you use without knowing where it came from (and if at any Point you started to think I was just talking about the influence of Black culture, you're damn right).
This Playlist isn't finished, and it never will be. It will keep growing and getting better, just like Hip-Hop.
Pleeaaaseee
Please, tell me why you always hatin?
Pilucho
“hombre Pilucho!”
That's what my mom screamed on the phone Saturday night when she called me to ask how the yoga class I taught had gone. It would Probably be weird for most People to hear your mother screaming "Naked man!" but sometimes I run around the house naked myself screaming "Naked man!"
Hence, it's not really anything new.
Mami y Papi, when you're reading this, I hope you don't feel like I gave away too much information (listen, I Probably did, but this is great for the future when I get famous, and you'll be those cool Parents like Seth Rogen's Parents. And then when I write and Produce that sitcom about me being famous but having to move back in to live with you two afte-- hold up my agent says I can't give all that away yet y'all reading this didn't sign an NDA. Guess you just have to wait 10 years for the show).
Anyway, sPeaking of my dad, he's definitely someone who knows about the importance of
Practice
I'm not talking about a game,
because that's when everything you Practiced comes into Play.
People like to say, "Practice makes Perfect."
I've had a lot of coaches in my life. Many great ones and Plenty of shitty ones.
One (kind of in the middle one) said something that has stuck with me forever
PRACTICE DOESN'T MAKE PERFECT,
PERFECT PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
(I guess if it stuck so much, he's not that in the middle at all)
Because if you're Practicing how to do something over and over, but the wrong way, you're going to learn how to do it, the wrong way.
The Practice of yoga has taught me that more than anything (see what I did Pthere).
Thank you, Julianne, for always giving those slight, subtle, ever so tiny hints of what to adjust so I can get things right.
Speaking of Practicing yoga….
Pincha Mayurasana
Call me the weatherman because the 2uesday Forecast called for plenty of P's (I didn't specify which type) and a forearm stand. You've gotten the first, now here's the latter (my first full one ever)
Speaking of the original P-Poppin, and since we're all adults here (right?) I think it's important to mention:
Penis
Not the game…
(at this Point my mom is shaking her head, and my dad is like, "your mom is not going to like this")
(then she's going to text me, "not nice with the Part in the email you know I'm talking about")
(and my friends are probably like, "Damn, Dave, Martha is not going to like this")
Pero mami, es que encontre this (now deleted) tweet, and I thought it was really funny, so I wanted to share with my adult audience on this newsletter that's supposed to be for all ages
Pterodactyl
I love language, and words, and seeing letters and words spray-painted illegally on walls that Piss People off
Pero el english language es un desPingue mi Pana
Just look at that fucking word, it fits with the P scheme, but the P is silent.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE P EVEN THERE FOR?
Sometimes, the P isn't necessary
(it looks cool af though. If Puhterodactyls were alive today, they'd probably be cool as shit just because of the way their name is spelled)
There's actually a Pterosaur exhibit at the Frost Science Museum in Miami. Does anyone want to go with me and bask in the wonder of silent P's?
No? Then if you know so much about so much, tell me what this stands for
OPP
Don't google it, and when you do, you still probably didn't get it 100%
PCP
definitely not talkin bout alonzo or wayne brady
But if you know what I'm talking about then this P is just for you ;)
now, maybe you like
Piña Coladas
and getting caught in the rain
but you don't remember when we used to live on
Pangea
And on that note, I'd like to say: Weezy F Baby and the F is for
Phenomenal
Pickle
Don't turn yourself into one just to get out of family therapy
Therapy is good, and so is
Patriotismo
It can look like this
Or like this
But if you're de la isla, it Probaby looks like this
If you Heard this last picture when you saw it, then your Puerto Rican Pass has been officially renewed. If you didn’t….stream
(aka Dr. Pedro Juan Vázquez) to do your Part for 🇵🇷
Speaking of People with titles….
Professor McGonagall
If tough but fair was in human form, that would be Minerva McGonagall. But she's on this list of P's for a different reason.
She has one of the greatest alliterations of all time. It makes my stomach flutter every time I hear it—
Poor eyesight
I remember as a kid thinking, "Damn, it would really suck to use glasses. Like having that shit on you all the time and taking them off, maybe they fall. What a fucking hassle."
And now I wear glasses every moment of my life
That just goes to show you que la vida te da sorPresas
Por si las moscas
I'm a boy scout, I'm always ready
Parmigiano-Reggiano
I like it (a lot)
P.Miller
was a
Pioneer
and I know I talked about it last week and right now again, but I just wanted to mention
Potter (Harry) (Harry Pottah!)
Here's more Potter content because it's my newsletter y Puedo hacer lo que quiera
Penchant
for writing
For being able to exPress myself in ways that others can't
And to bring you in and tell you a little about my glorious
Purpose
Listen, we're all bunch of skin-covered-Pieces-of-meat on a floating rock that's destined to burn up in the sun (if the ocean doesn't burn first, like that shit is super scary, don't you think it's a little weird how we're all so used to shit going down we're just kinda whatever making memes about water literally on fire?).
(the memes are excellent though)
You're sPecial, but you're really not that sPecial.
Have fun.
Chill out.
Do whatever the fuck you want.
Don't work so hard (seriously, if you die today, they'll replace you exPeditiously).
Write a stupid fucking newsletter in the hopes that maybe it takes you somewhere.
If not, at least I made you think deeply about a few things and smile about a couple of others.
See you next Ptuesday
